prompted the following question “Would you pass on the chance to date someone because your family wouldn’t approve?”. I’m not talking about dating someone who just isn’t good to you or good for you. Maybe the person is of a different religion, or a different race, or whatever their issue may be. How about your friends - what if they have the same issues with someone you’re dating?
I wonder how my family would react were I to date outside my race; it’s been established that religious differences don’t matter. Would my parents disown me? Would my siblings try to get me to see the error of my ways? Would they all just be happy that I’m happy? Or would they just assume it’s yet another phase I’m going through and that it’s bound to blow over?
Between you and me, they really only need to start worrying about me if I date an Arsenal or Chelsea fan!! 
Eliza said,
April 22, 2008 @
I’d love to say it doesn’t matter…but it does matter. Your family stays with you until you kick the bucket, and other people…don’t. Family matters most, they know you best….
limerick gal said,
April 22, 2008 @
So you’d listen to your family and pass on dating someone if they didn’t approve? What if they told you they didn’t approve of Mr. Manners? You cave to the pressure and he’s gone? But what if they never approve - what if nobody’s good enough for their little girl?? Then what? Eternally single to appease the fam?
Eliza said,
April 22, 2008 @
No, not eternally single. The thing is, the family wants the best for their girl - and that is what makes their girl happy, ultimately. My parents wouldn’t care if I dated a space alien, as long as he made me happy. If he made me feel bad about myself, or was abusive, or robbed banks for a living…that would be another matter.
Point is - family matters, and should come first….if you are going to do something you think will bother them, don’t tell them until it becomes serious or an actual issue.
Mike H said,
April 22, 2008 @
Yes, but some families are just plain crazy and should be ignored at all costs…
PS: I am not talking about Jeni’s lot even though they are a bit spaced out.
limerick gal said,
April 22, 2008 @
I think Jeni’s in-laws are a hell of a lot worse!!
Bock the Robber said,
April 23, 2008 @
Families don’t always want what’s best for you. Sometimes they just want what they want.
limerick gal said,
April 24, 2008 @
So we should just think of ourselves and not what our family’s reaction will be?
Horse N. Buggy said,
April 25, 2008 @
Speaking as a complete outsider, I think it depends on the reasons why the family wouldn’t approve of the person you’re dating. If the family is truly concerned about the way the person treats you or things about the person’s life that will cause problems in the future, then you would be wise to at least listen to their concerns. But if they base their dislike on prejudicial reasons, like race, then you have to decide whether or not that’s the kind of person you want to be. Does race matter to you? Do you want to miss out on a potentially wonderful (if he is wonderful) man simply because your family is racist? (Not saying that they are, just using this as an example.) Obviously, your family are not the only racist people you will encounter in your life and if you have kids, they will have to deal with racist people as well. You have to decide FOR YOURSELF if you want to face those things. That’s not a decision to be made lightly, but each year these issues become easier to deal with.
Horse N. Buggy said,
April 25, 2008 @
By the way, Go Gunners! (But I hope Man U beats Chelski this weekend.)
limerick gal said,
April 25, 2008 @
My family have sat back and watched me date idiots in the past; they’ve never interfered with any relationship, but, after the fact, have shared their concerns with me. I think that’s pretty much how they’d handle any situation, unless the relationship was an abusive one.
limerick gal said,
April 25, 2008 @
And why am I suddenly surrounded by Arsenal fans????
I’ll join ya in wishing for a Chelski loss though!